some extreme examples of my self abuse interesting mentally ill stuff yeah i gave myself that black eye
My moms poem that I wrote for her-2005

california vertical labret..

62505_small 2005_0625piercing0007_small Silver Suicide Number 9, Vertical

OUCH!!!!!

YES, ITS REALLY SWOLLEN

No more lip ring or Regular Labret!

As, i mentioned I am doing a "piercing Makeover" I decided to get started early with this 12 gauge Vertical Labret. It is I guess "Hip" compared to what i had.  It was extremely painful because usually piercings start out at a 16 gauge or a 14 gauge. The lower the number the bigger the piercing is. Then you stretch the piercing out. But i started with a 12. I feel like a freak, but thats okay.. I'll just have to get used to it.. 

I loved it, until i got home and i met the most rude guy i have ever met on the internet. I am going to put down his entire message session in the next entry. The guy is anti-gay, anti-jew, anti-black, anti-mexican. He attacked me because he thought I looked like a transexual or a man.  He said I should stop with the "pathetic attempt at individuality" not before calling me a delusional cunt, and several other psycotic things. This persons yahoo Id is ryan_laz2003.

When i run into people like this on the net, it makes me paniac, have paniac attacks, makes me afraid of the world. I am already terrified that there are no more nice people left anwhere, and that when i die I will be buried in a hefty bag, My uncle on my mom's side is still pending a lawsuit against me (MY MOM's BROTHER) for $7,000. He wants his money for my mom's funeral.. (and this is one of the closest relatives i have) 

So, now my body is in shock from the piercing and I am so afraid of people and their hatred.  I hope that when i post the conversation that it will shock whoever wants to read it. Its horrible against any group that isn't white and straight and completly normal looking..

So, that took the pleasure away from my new "individuality"

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