By the way I am baby's ass bald as of two days ago. (Thats my head of course) I have no confidence In myself at all. If anyone cares, please a compliment, a boost, something? The days just drone on and on, They never change. I am going insane. I can't handle it. I tried me some Jack Daniels last night, never had it.. hard shit. had three shots, didn't get happy or didn't get put out my misery.. Just got sleepy. I am too down to exercise (which i do without fail) I feel so unloved, so in a runt.. so useless, so pointless. (My boyfiend) Has been at his wifes house since 9 this morning. it is now seven p.m. Funny thing I don't even care.. I am on my own, because i am trapped in this house.. I have no confidence. NO, modeling jobs,,, (guess i'll just erase my OMp profile) Newspaper fired me.. now, i sleep all day and all night, wake up to try the next escape.. in last nights case,, hard liquor. I am just such a pointless waste of skin and body parts.. (except my liver may be going) They could have not had me, or aborted me and given my parts to someone who would have had a pointless life.. I want someone to love me.. There is no love here.. Day in, Day out.. I sleep, I watch TV.. I sink further and further down.. If i was loved, I would be helped on finding an activity to get me out of this house... Sincerely cared for, and asked, what can i do, can i take you karate, get you back involved in that? But nothing,, no love, just wants me to be down here in the gutter, and to stay, and then can't understand whats wrong with me..
Someone please, i hate myself, I hate myself. I am useless, i am ugly, i am fat, I am unloved. I am garbage.. Please someone give a shit..
God, i don't know why i botherWhen I was born my dad was devasted that i wasn't a boy. i haven't been good enough since birth