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Entries about dads death, aug 7th 2005

Letter to me from my dead mother-2005

Dear Annemieke, I MADE THIS LETTER Up.. SHE NEVER WROTE IT TO ME.

I am watching over you my dear child; watching you suffer. I have watched it for many years. It is an agnonizing thing for a mother to see her child go through so much. You are so special to me and so brave. I never said that much when I was around. I'm sorry. Keep trying. Keep Praying. Don't renouonce God. I wish there was a way I could have held you through the seizure I saw. I know you were terrified. I know you thought it was really your time to come join me and your father that night. I would tell you when its your time, if I knew, but i don't. I know there is something you are terrified of losing. I was too. I didn't want to lose your father. I know you ask me to keep you and Paul together. I hear you,but I can't make that decision.

I am seperated from you only for a little while. You know that we will be together again. I love you my little one.

hang in there

Love you mother.

6 days until I go home. I am so angry that she will not be there for my college graduation. God knows it took long enough. . I am so scared to see her grave after 8 months.

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