Baby Goes to the Hospital Part One!
Best poem about turning 30! feb, 6 06

What would have been my mom's 64/bd

December 12th, 2005

Happy Birthday Mommy!

As you might be able to tell from this LOVELY gravestone, that today is my mommy's birthday. Actually, even though I have the dates of her birth and death tattooed on my wrist; I sorta forgot!!!!  I was chatting with a perv (defintion, guys with no life on instant messenger services)  Hmm, except, I was chatting with him so what does that make me?  Anyway, I happened to notice the date at about 4 this morning.  Mommy died at 59 years of age, just a few weeks from her 60th birthday; so today she would have been 65!! ( I wish you could send a birthday card to a dead person) Actually, you really can, hypothetically. Well, what have I done to celebrate mommy's birthday?  YES, THANK YOU FOR ASKING!   Lets see here, I layed in bed until noon when my favorite show "starting over comes on"  HOWEVER, first in honor of how skinny mom was all of her life; I PIGGED OUT ON SLIM FAST BARS!  (Those things are killler)  THEY ARE REALLY GOOD! How are you supposted to lose weight if you eat the entire box?? HMMM?  So, MOM I had about 600 calories in one sitting, then I ate my breakfast!  YEP! Now, i don't know what to do.  MAYBE I COULD SHAVE MY LEGS FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY??   My mom and I both have, well she had excessive body hair.  When she passed, she looked a lot like a man with a full beard.  NOPE, i'm not kidding!

SO, what do 65-year olds do? If they were my mom, probably still cuss and get speeding tickets and JOIN AARP. Actually, she was already a member. I like to think, if she had lived that she would have bought an entirely new wardrobe. I WOULD HAVE MADE HER GO ON TV, TO THE SHOW WHAT NOT TO WEAR.  cause, she had some bad clothes. I think, for sure she would have been disappointed. I just got out of the ER and i am sorta in the sex business. BUT, maybe she would have put up with it, I DON'T know? I certainly would have gotten her a birthday present today if she were alive,,, OOPS, NO I WOULDN'T cause CHristmas and her birthday were so close together that I only usually got her one present.  I would have given her a call, for sure, Maybe she could have watched the cats so I wouldn't have freaked and had to go to the hospital. NO, PROBABLY NOT THAT EITHER, SHe might have made me take Cody and Noah to get declawed. SUCH A BARBARIC THING!! I HOPE SHE STILL WOULDN't be like that!

There is one thing, i would like to say about my mom, that I haven't ever mentioned. It doesn't have much to do with her birthday, but I think if she had a birthday today, its something that she has probably been carrying around forever. When mom was about four or five she was sexually abused. I didn't know, I read it in her journal. I mean, i have known for a while, but she never came out and told me, that i remember. This information is a little graphic. According to her journal, mom used to go into a hardware store that was run by the town drunk. Now, this was way back in about 1943. So, one day for some reason she was left in the store. The manager took her in the back and had her stand up on a paint barrell. There were some other men there also. I believe two or three more. The manager then, unbuttoned his pants (and to leave it as less graphic as possible) masturbated and finally came on my mom. He then asked the other two men if they wanted a turn. According, to her journal they said no, and she went home thinking she was pregnant.

HMM?? I think mom would want that out, even if it is her birthday.

I have to tell her that at church yesterday when I was going up to receive communion, I looked over at the old lady organist. I got tears in my eyes. I tried to stop them, because I was wearing powder and TEARS stain powder. It just seemed so familiar. I could imagine that she was that old lady organist, now at 65.  EXCEPT SHE WOULD HAVE LOOKED A HELL OF A LOT BETTER!.

WEll, i didn't mean to write such a long entry! HAPPY 65th BIRTHDAY MOM! and thanks for saving my ass at the ER the other night!  I LOVE YOU!
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