poem about my smoking shed, feb 18, 06
FAT!!!

Scale woes

Oh bad idea, i stepped on the scale.. 111 pounds!! OMG!! I am a total lard. i need to lose 11 pounds! now how does one go about that in a healthy way?
I feel like i totally failed, since my only job is NOT TO GET FAT..
I mean no one cares... i am not modeling anymore.. i guess thats over..no one asks me to work anymore.
How is losing 11 pounds gonna solve my relationship problems, my money problems, my severe lonliness.. lonliness that is getting almost too much to bare.

it won't.. but if i could gain the self control to stop eating so much,then like most folks with an eating disorder...its one thing I can control.. while everything else spins away.

well, whether I lose the weight or not, i am still fat and unlovable. I love candy.. I mean?

I worked at a factory in like 1995 and I ate A LOT on breaks and for lunch.. I think would work make me not eat as much... but when i think back to that factory work.. i kinda doubt it.

i am so lonely, its killin me.

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