Feb 13. 07, promise to try by madonna

One of the few times i was happy.. at this titanic expo.


Sigh, I just finished one of the first pages for my photoconfessions update..  I also just got a small paycheck in the mail from them too. It was 33 dollars, but its cool to me because i haven't had that many paychecks in my life.

This entry is about this weekend though. A rarity among weekends! I kept clean so I could go see the New Titanic expedition at the Metrodome in San Francisco. Until, this weekend,  neither paul or me knew that this Metrodome even existed! Its incredible. I just wish it wasn't 70 miles away. Its just like the mall downtown in Memphis, but theres a hell of a lot more things to do!

I really don't wanna look on youtube or something for a Titanic film or something, so I WON"T Anyway, I am proud of myself for making it, I felt so bad physically. It was very very cold in the exhibit but I was sweating all down my back. (some kind of withdrawal probably)
Despite that, I keep forgetting when that dumb ass mega million dollar James Cameron Titantic was filmed (what year)

This provided just superficial interest (which is sad for me) but used to be for my mom and me. Paul and me had a good time only because i was extremely interested and read every plaque on the wall.  The first EVER titanic artifact expo came to Memphis well first. before it went to any other city. My mom and I went (of course) but the submursables that go down to the wreck have been a lot more times since mom and i saw the first expo.

It was really just totally incredible. I am a little rusty on my titanic trivia, but i honestly do know  a shitload about it. Anyway, the entire thing was built like folks were on the boat.  They had examples of first, second and third class accomodations. They had a "bowels of hell" place to show where the black gang or so they were called worked under the ship.  Most all of these men were lost, they kept the lights running as she sank so that a distress signal could go out.

The most amazing thing there was an actual model of the Grand staircase..  This was basically the hub the entire ship. they even had the dome on top. I walked in there and my jaw dropped. paul thought it was so cute.  They located a piece of the main cherub on the staircase and it was on display there.

The other most amazing thing was that they have pulled up a Massive piece of the hull and it was really hanging there. God, it was like unreal or something.

There was a room dedicated to the sinking. They also found the actual wheel that tried to turn away from the iceburg that night.  It was rough on me cause it was so real,  when i thought about the reasons my mom and i seemed connected to this disaster and thats about it, i realized that i think she only liked the opulance.  the rich people,  she was into that.. but me i am still into "man vs. nature" in the industrial revolution. I believe that calling a piece of iron 'unsinkable" was a dire mistake.

um, heres some stuff that I just know,  i used to read a lot about it.  There were quotes on the wall and one of them was a premonition. Several people were quoted as not sleeping at night because they just knew they were not going to make it to New York. A lot of stupid mistakes happened on April 14, 1912,  for one.. the lookouts  had no binoculars, they were misplaced... so, how could they see?

When they looked up, the iceburg was just in their face. So, they gave the order to turn but she didn't make it... she missed hitting straight on, however i  think if she had hit straight on that she would not have sunk so fast or even at all. What happened was Titanic was held together by thousands of rivets.  She scraped the hull underneath and all the rivets popped open, that  is actually what sank her.

They had a wall of rememberance there to, when we went into the exibit everyone got a card so we could look and see if our person made it or not.. I made it, cause i was a girl and paul died (ha ha)  but the difference between who was saved and who was lost by class system was NUTS..  basically no first class were lost,,,,a little more in 2nd.. almost everyone in third class died along with all the crew members.

As captain smith yelled every man for himself, some men dressed in womens clothing because they were pussies. others were shot dead on the deck because the rule is "women and children first"  there were not enough lifeboats aboard for everyone. captain smith also knew this before the ship every left. The band story is a killer for me.. the band turns out basically was making no money, however the ministers aboard pleaded with them to play something to calm the people as the ship went down. It is of course said that the last song was "nearer my god to thee"  Duh, i had them play it at mom's funeral... also a passage from Revaltion was read. This I also had them say at mom's funeral.  I don't know i think it was 21 something,  but as everyone slid to their death, they heard something of the nature, "and i have seen a new heavean and a new earth, a place where there is no more crying ,  no more tears and no more death"

Uh, i could go on and on about this.. i guess its funny i am interested in an almost 100 year old ship. so, i'll just try to shut up and say a quote from one the survivors in the lifeboat... Basically they said, "once all the screaming once all the moaning had stopped, there was only blackness, the most beautiful still blackness that i have ever seen on the sea, the most clear night, the most peace." In the morning a ship called the Carpathia heard the signal and picked up the surviors.... 1500 were lost.. only 700 were saved.

As we left, there was another quote on the wall, saying something to the effect of, "we have all been passengers aboard the Titanic" And as for my mom and me, we were. and I still am.

maybe, i should find some pictures???? oh man the entire thing, i had to shit bad! and i never go in public toilets,, eeek! FOR GODS SAKE RMS MEANS ROYAL MAIL SERVICE!! DAMN.