So even though i dont matter at all. last saturday was the best day of my life. I was with him! he knew exactly how to handle me. He was perfect.
This is about the las vegas 2014 star trek convention. I thought scott had canceled completely so I was suicidal and berserk. We stayed in the rio hotel. THIS GONNA BE LONG BITCHES! Okay so I saw Scott on saturday the 2nd of august. I was wearing my 3,000 future boy suit and i have 5 pictures that cost 400 dollars but it was worth it.
Okay so first, the night before I was telling God that I was going to a crucifiction. That i wanted him to remember the night that he was in the garden and was praying so hard he was sweating blood. I wanted him to remember the rejecton he had, in case Scott rejected me.
So anyway I got up on saturday morning and I put on my outfit and I was relatively calm which was unusual. So I was the ONLY ONE in a Quantum Leap outfit out of thousands of people. So finally the time was here and we went downstairs.
So the first thing we did was take pictures. I of course was the only one with five! so I was standing there waiting for him, so excited but okay. So all of a sudden i Saw him and he was wearing a black shirt and jeans. So i watched him with all the people ahead of me and he looked really bored. they just kinda snapped the picture and that was it.
So when it was my turn Paul (boyfriend) told Scott "this is my girlfriend Anna, could you please give her a hug first" And Scott said, OH MY GOD! "Oh i know who you are" and i about shat. See, two years ago I sent him a NUTTY ASS LETTER with a few pictures in it and I was so curious if he had read this letter and now I know he did!
OKAY THIS HAD TO GO THROUGH AND IT DID IT WAS LIKE LIFE OR DEATH IT WASNT SOME FUN LIKE LITTLE FAN LETTER SAYING I LOVE YOU OR SOMETHING. REALLY IT WAS VERY SERIOUS.
So we started to take our five pictures and I was terrified! More terror will come later! I was jumping up and down and Scott was kinda trying to calm me down, so he suggested that we do All kinds of Poses. I want to cut MY HEAD OFF BECAUSE I WAS TERRIFED to do what he suggested
So we were in front of hundreds of people and we took a couple of pictures and then he said "well what pose do you want to do now?" And He leaned down and said,"how bout you sit on my knee" HOLY SHIT! and I stood there and looked him in the face and I said, "I cant do that"
He was a little confused, but i am still SO FAT even though ive lost 30 pounds I was afraid I would make him fall down, he looked so skinny and brittle...not in a bad way....So then he said, "How bout we go back to back?" and i said "i cant do that either. So the photographer took just These absoulely DARLING PICTURES. we are holding hands looking into each others eyes..I AM SERIOUS and we were laughing and he put bunny ears on me in one and i suggested that.
Then he hid behind me and and just had this goofy smile and when the pictures were over I grabbed him and said "wait just a second" i wrote you a crazy letter about two years ago, " and he said, "I know I remember" FROM TWO YEARS AGO! I got an autograph out of it but he didnt answer the letter, but he said, "I remember and I AM REALLY SORRY, I DROPPED THE BALL ON THAT ONE" I should have answered it.
WOW! so then when we were done with pictures EVERYBODY in the crowd waiting CLAPPED FOR US! because we were so cute. and paul (boyfriend) said he saw a woman with tears in her eyes about it. im not posting the pics on here because i look to fat, but i might... so later we went to pick up the pictures and i was of course the only one who had five!
So there was a lady in there who recognized me from the line and she said, "how many pictures did you get" and I said five... and she said "Well just from my observation, Scott looked like he was having A GREAt TIME WIth you" and she said thats the most important thing" So i was very flattered that Scott could have a good time with me! So that just went perfect. It couldnt have gone any better!
So anyway, the line for autographs was a different story. I did not handle that well. I started to get completly berserk and then they came out and said, "scott has to go take more pictures so he'll be back in about 30 minutes"
So then the terror started. We were all sitting on the floor waiting and i started to hyperventalate A LOT! I was making a HUGE Scene and a couple of the star trek people wanted to pull me out of line... They said she has to get out of line if she cant handle it. So paul told me to take deep breaths but it wasnt helping.
So right then I was praying inside to my DEAD MOTHER for help... and this is an absolute miracle... because i was almost kicked out of line.
All of a sudden a lady came up to me... she just appeared out of nowhere.. and she said, hi honey im the doctor here at the convention, she saw me just out of control.. I was gonna BLOW IT! So she sat down with me and talked to us for about 20 minutes.... She calmed me down just almost instantly.
She kept asking me about myself. if i had any brothers or sisters.. where was I from?" and just the distraction really helped and i wasnt kicked out of line and then when it was time for scott to come back she did leave.. but she went WAY out of her way for me... Spiritual occurance? I dont know.
But anyway the line suddenly started to move.. and I went Nuts! I started to cry and as it moved and when I could actually see him at the table signing things. I couldnt handle it. i was crying and I hid behind paul. And i was not able to control my breathing and we needed to buy autograph tickets and i didnt know that... so we bought 4 tickets even though I had about six things for him to sign but it was okay.
So the closer we got the more hysterical i got. I hid my face behind Paul and I could tell that he (Scott) could see me coming and i have to wonder what he felt...like,"how am i gonna control this crazy bitch" i never really looked directly into his face. I couldnt.
So finally, we got up to him, i was crying and like whining and saying,"i cant face him, i cant do it. so he kinda looked at paul and i couldnt breathe and he said very calmly," honey, its okay, just calm down and he had to say it a few times. so after he said that I basically was okay. i stopped crying and I started to hand him the stuff i wanted him to sign.
Oh before I forget...not to be a bragart or anything but I have a ORIGINAL SCOTT BAKULA TATTOO on my arm. That was one of the things i needed done. So we told him "could he please draw something on my arm, so he was like, "oh im sorry im not a very good artist" i didnt care of course, how bad it looked.
So he kinda thought about it for a minute and he drew something on a piece of paper, And he took my arm... oh my god he held my arm!! OH MY GOD. i was shaking almost uncontrollably I was just like drooling and noddinG
NOBODY MUST KNOW WHAT THAT TATTOO MEANS EXCEPT HIM AND ME AND THE FEW PEOPLE THAT HAVE READ THIS. SO YEAH WE DO HAVE SECRETS BETWEEN US. ITS NOT A LIE OR SOME BULLSHIT.
Anyway after he drew the tattoo, i handed him four things, one was the playgirl from 1995... he was embarrassed, he kinda blew it off, but by then I was able to get some words out so i said, "Um i got this off of ebay and well I was also disappointed when you werent naked" so he just kinda laughed and said so "what else should i sign?"
So i handed him an old quantum leap t-shirt that i had bought two years ago at a convention in burbank. I thought I could hold on to it and pretend like he was there when I was scared......because of my two drug problems...yeah two.. pot and alchohol. so he looked confused and paul said "well just she wants some reassurance from you" so he wrote To anna, I really do hope you feel better.
So i havent even gotten to touch to shirt..paul wont let me..he says i'll ruin it.. but I need it... I dont know...
Anyway so he also signed the autograph that he had sent me two years ago.. oh I forgot..when he was signing the shirt he said, "well what should i say?" and I said.. "say you love me and you want me as your wife"... ha ha. so to the lady on twitter that said if i mentioned i loved him he would reject me...but that didnt happen. He knows I love him.. because for some strange reason he remembered my letter.. so he knew I did...love him. so he laughed kinda and said i think i'll stick with hope you feel better.
so when he was finished signing we just kinda stood there for a minute... and I SWEAR TO GOD.. HE TOOK BOTH OF MY HANDS AND SAID I REALLY DO HOPE THIS FOR YOU" and yeah maybe i did look in his face because we stood there for a second HAND IN HAND... AHHHHHH! and nodded in agreement together..
Then it was over... and I was terrifed and shocked and relieved. I had done it. I got what i needed sorta... so this is how 5 months of sobriety went down the drain.... I went to have a barcardi 151.. i drink barcarci gold but they didnt have any.. so unfortunalty there was just to much temptation.
Paul was a severe alchohlic also and he was buying just as many beers as i was buying shots... so now i dont know what to do about this. also i got a medical pot card about 4 months ago and i am i just cant function without it. im spending money hand over fist for both drugs.. but god in heaven it was worth it.. all of it.
And something i need to say about scott that is very mushy but just has to be said.... the movie, "heaven is for real" I have seen three times. Its about a little boy who visited heaven when he was four while he was in a serious operation. the boys name was colton and colton had the most amazing blue eyes....and anyway also in the movie there was a girl who lived halfway across the world who had an NDE also.. she started painting jesus. and coltons dad said, well colton what color were jesus's eyes.
and they were scott's coltons description described them perfectly. when i see scotts eyes i see the same eyes as jesus. exactly the same color, just as clear and bright and you feel like they are staring into your soul. Scott is the most precious person on this earth...... he really is. not even my boyfriend or my DEAD MOM can take that position.... yeah things got more mushy when he held my hands..ha ha..
so i am eagarly awaiting NCIS this fall which i am sure everybody else is too. and the things i write about him on twitter are probably gonna get more mushy and lame... oh well..
I am just so thankful for saturday and wll never be able to express to God my thanks! love you scott. be safe in new orleans.. you are an angel to have helped me. thank you!
Ps 4 months later.. to that lady on twitter that thinks its a big deal that scott smiled at you in a "special" way. way thats crap cause my boyfriend just told me that when scott and me were taking pictures. i was somewhere in la la land i cant even remember it" but that he was lauging and smiling the full one.... the whole time we were fucking around. i dont remember the smile cause i was like out of body.. so look you aint speacial lady.